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Stoopidity

I'm scrambling to get my mom's Medicaid application completed. It's crazy frustrating because I wasn't careful with her important documents when I left for China. That's on me. I should have secured her birth certificate, ID, social security card, etc. They're all gone. Missing. Can't be found. We're starting from the beginning.



Things that need to happen in order:


  1. Obtain mom's birth certificate (BC)

  2. Use the BC to get a new picture ID at the depart of motor vehicles (DMV)

  3. Use the ID at her old bank to get bank records from five years ago.

  4. Obtain a new 1099R form that reports income from last year.

  5. Submit all the paperwork

  6. Go through another financial meeting to explain any unusual transactions

  7. Have a wellness meeting with a state appointed doctor after the financial aspect is completed


Okay. We got this. Right? Deadline for completion is May 1st. That's when we project to run out of money. Just under two months. Ummmm. Stuck on step 1. To get a copy of mom's BC I have to supply my own as proof I'm her kid. So I have Moira and Kaleb scrambling to track down mine. They found it. They send me a picture. I submit it on the website to request mom's BC. I get an email saying there's something wrong. WTF? After spending two days exchanging emails they let me know I gave them a birth registration, not a BC. Make the kids scramble more for a day looking for it. Can't find it. I started this process a week ago. Starting to feel the timeline pressure. Then it hits me. I needed it in my documentation so I could come to work in China. I brought to China with me. Moment of realization floods over me. Feeling of stoopidity is off the charts. So bad that it has to be spelled with the letter o twice. My BC is about fifteen feet away from me.


Picture taken and submitted. They should overnight mom's BC tomorrow so we can get to step 2. Moira will need to cart her Gram around for step 2 and 3. She also has to take her to another doctor's appointment. Fortunately she has a little of extra time in the next two weeks. She starts a new job in two weeks and has a bit of time off until then. I can't say it enough. Moira has been a trooper. I've really appreciated her support during these trials.


A bit of hopefully good news. We think the 1099R form for taxes with income information on it was at her old place and was forwarded to her new address. If not, a new one is in process of being sent. That could take three weeks. End of March would be acceptable.


Moira took her Gram to see her primary care physician today. I had to be up at 2:00am to talk to the doctor and describe the events that have taken place over the last few months. He was reluctant to prescribe her medications, but did so. Of course mom is sitting there listening to all of this, but Moira said it didn't seem to register with her. She will have another appointment with him soon to have some form of neurological test done.


I feel like I'm sitting her just waiting for the message from Simran describing how mom has had another meltdown. She's been back two days at her new home and the paramedics haven't been called. Simran tells me that as long as she's not hitting or attempting to leave everything is fine. She's hopeful that after a couple of weeks that mom will settle in. Mom's delusions and dementia have now turned on Simran at times. Mom tells me she's yelling at her and wants to kill her. Further, she says Simran is threatening her family members. Simran has got some serious patience. I'm impressed. Lastly, we have a plan if this home isn't going to work out. If memory care is in mom's future DSHS has a division called Adult Protective Services that will help us find a new place.


I've been getting some consistent advice from a couple people I respect quite a bit. Both my sister Marie and buddy Mike have been telling me I need to give myself a break and not be too hard on myself. I know they're right. I can't blame myself for mom's declining mental faculties. This was going to happen if I was in Bellingham or in China. Deep breath. Focus on the things in my control. All will work out fine in the end.

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